Keeping Busy

I got invited on a Vegas trip (all expenses paid) by the lady I work for today. I’m not the type to abuse the generosity of others, nor do I even accept ‘gifts” too well… so it was quite a shock to be offered such a huge memento from someone! Even a gift that good… comes with a little “consequence” I suppose. I have the next two months to train some fill in people to answer phones while we are gone.

This past weekend I caught a little “bug”, the kind that inspires me to start remodeling. I swear I have this problem, I decide to do one little thing and then we end up expanding it until it’s a huge project. It all began as a change in light fixture and has now become a complete kitchen remodel lol. Ultimately it’s good, it’s all how I motivate myself to get it done and I prefer it done all at once.

I’ve been busy with summer stuff, and ending my work days at 4pm now. I’ve been spending lots of time reading and having some “me” time. Some of the current books on my reading list are:

egonomics: What Makes Ego Our Greatest Asset (or Most Expensive Liability)

Magic, Witchcraft, and Religion: An Anthropological Study of the Supernatural

Love & Death: My Journey through the Valley of the Shadow

And I have to start doing some shopping for some new clothes for my trip. It’s gonna be an all out girls week…. I wonder if we’ll get strippers too. Um it is a distinct possibility knowing my boss.

The Beach is Good for the Soul

It’s that time of year…. We’re getting ready to go on vacation again. We’ve rented the same house on the beach and I cannot wait to sit on that ocean sand. In the Autumn I like vacations to be about activity, and since I love that time of year it is a great time for me to be busy. But in the summer… there is just nothing more spiritual then sitting on the sand and watching the sunrise and set each day. I am also thrilled to be loading up the car, packing up the dog to go along, and driving to the beach for 7 sunny days of being totally lazy. I even love the long car ride down.

Since we’ll be gone during the Summer Solstice I am packing my handy dandy mini travel altar with me. I have picked up several different ones on ebay and such because we’ve been traveling lots more the last few years. I have some cool stuff I gathered from various kits and pretty much put my own together. It all fits in a small wooden tarot box that I also use as the altar when traveling. I also take a mini tarot deck on every trip and my journal to document things. I can do a lot of reflection on my trips, and I am lucky enough that I can do them because going away is nothing short of ‘cleansing” for the soul.

Look out beach….. here we come whoohoo.

Enlightenment

It’s funny how a having a blog online where I talk myself through my own spirituality can inspire people to write to me an provoke great intellectual email chats. I have had some really great email exchanges with interesting people from all over the world about religion, tarot, or spirituality in general. I am always thankful that my blog attracts the type of people who want to take the time to write me for those things.

Last week I got an email from someone who wanted to talk about what it means to become “enlightened”. Or perhaps better stated, what is the difference between being “enlightened” and not being enlightened. It turned into a week long continuing email chat and was so interesting. Last night I dreamt that I needed to write about it. Some here I go.

Becoming enlightened is like having a moment where a sudden rush of answers hit and usually it happens without provoking it at all. Some truths we discover are universal, but many more are personal. For me, it didn’t occur during ritual or meditation, it has happened while driving my car, or in the shower, or while doing dishes. I wasn’t doing something “religious”. I wasn’t reading my tarot cards or opening chakras. I wasn’t even technically questioning anything at the moments they have hit the hardest.

A moment of enlightenment is profound. It’s not usually a situation where you ponder things and suddenly the answer appears. It happens because you have grown spiritually over time, and you finally become ready for the answers…. in order to grow more. Almost like a growth spurt if you will. You can’t plan for it. You can’t force it to happen by using tools to obtain it. Sure, they do happen too, but in my personal experience that happens much less often. The first time it happened to me I was 24 years old and it even scared me because I did not understand at that stage what it meant, or why it happened. Since then I have had more moments of enlightenment then I can count. Some are major, and big… some not so big, but nonetheless the answer appears. Some can be almost psychic moments too.

I have had situations where I “knew” something, I could feel it…. but not prove it and that would make me doubt myself. And like magic a week later the answer or proof would come to me without me seeking it out. I’m speaking in general and being vague because that happens so often to me, that it’s now impossible to name an experience. For a long time I considered that “luck” or “intuition”. But another moment of enlightenment has showed me that it wasn’t. For me, it’s part of the growth process and evidence to support my path. Spiritual growth usually means you don’t have to invoke or cause “change” to happen. I so dislike when things are said such as “you have to make a change” or that “change is necessary”. It’s just not a fact at all. (Think about nature. Plants, trees, and flowers all grow…. But you don’t keep moving them all over your yard and have them thrive. They grow best with deep roots) If you are enlightened and on the right path – you don’t have to make abrupt choices or changes. You don’t even get yourself into situations that would cause you to “make a change”. Life is a constant transition, but transitioning is like climbing a latter… one step at a time. Transitioning is working toward something, and having a purpose. Seeking or needing change in your life really indicates that you are not making choices or decisions for your own greater good.

You will see many transitions happen to your mind/thinking when you grow and become more enlightened. You become sharper, quicker, and you see through things that other people hide behind or even lie about to you. When you aren’t enlightened the mind plays tricks on you with games like paranoia, suspicion, hurt feelings, foggy thinking, making assumptions, and emotional outbursts. When you aren’t enlightened you commit things such as little white lies, or you don’t speak the truth upfront to others to avoid confrontation etc. When you are enlightened those things don’t seem necessary. Confrontation often really means “challenge” and being enlightened means you want to face those things head on. Or at the very least you are not afraid of them.

Being enlightened means you understand your physical body too. Your body may not be perfect by any means, but you accept it as it is. More importantly, you understand it. You know when you are ill, you know how to treat and handle that. You accept what you must, you also fight for what you must, and you do it without doubt or hesitation.

Being enlightened doesn’t make you special, but it does make you very different often then your friends or family. Those situations will definitely bring you conflicts too. The answers on how to handle that will come to you when you are enlightened. Each and every situation or person is different, and they will bring their personal issues to the table for you too. There is no standard rule on how to handle it.

There is also a tendency for people who are newly enlightened to become more critical of other people, or preachy, or even believing they can teach others. It’s a bit like being too excited and anxious. It can seem like you are doing the right thing, but it most likely isn’t unless you obtain educational skills. You can’t teach people HOW to become enlightened because you were. There is not a step by step plan, and handing someone all the answers never works out either. Each of us have a different method and path.

I cannot stress enough that you don’t have to be religious to be enlightened. Or you can follow any religion of choice. I am watching and communicating about enlightenment with a friend of mine who is not spiritual at all. I have known this woman for 25 years now and in the last 4 she has grown by leaps and bounds. Her path is 100% different then mine. I would never tell her what she needs, only she knows that… but it is extremely interesting watching her evolve for the better.

The Meaning of Life

All philosophy teaches us that the meaning of life is knowledge. Through knowledge, we evolve. Through knowledge we obtain happiness, and balance. Through knowledge and intelligence we create. Through knowledge we develop technology and science.

Living solely for happiness isn’t logical, knowledge strives for far more details in the puzzle. If you consider yourself ‘at peace” then you aren’t advancing in knowledge.

Why or how is your life worth living? Much depends upon your career, and the things your contribute to the world which creates knowledge. How can you become a better person?

Grow as a person. Build your knowledge. Discover a use for what you know. Create something meaningful. Help others in some way. Anything more complex than that is ego driven.

Humans often lie to themselves believing that it is better to be the saint and “sacrifice” rather then the genius that shares their knowledge. Having the willpower to make sacrifices doesn’t make the world a better place. One person with a lot of willpower does not advance the willpower for anyone else. But a brilliant mind can advance many things.

Intelligence allows us to make better choices. The higher the intelligence the more likely the action will follow. Intelligence allows us to adapt to things, changes, situations, and even people. Being holy for the sake of being holy does not do good in the world, it only does something for that individual… the ego.

How A Witch Handles Conflict

Conflict is a natural part of life. We all experience it. Pretty much all conflict you experience in life involves these main points.

Intentions – Actions – Effects – Reactions – Consequences

What they mean are pretty self explanatory. An Intention is one thing, but not the only thing. The Action may not reflect the intention. In that case, the Effects and Reactions (both yours and the other persons) have Consequences.

Most conflicts begin because of people having “perceived” notions, which could be one or more parties involved. You only need 1 party to do that to cause a whole drama. We get these perceived notions and excuses for our assumptions based on emotional reactions to situations. Our emotions can lie to us, therefore they are not always reliable. Emotion is often the culprit of conflict because we bring our own personal dramas to it. Our past experiences have a major influence on how we perceive people and situations, and if we are still not moving past those issues then we put them into every area of our life.

It’s very important to understand and know that conflicts are normal. How you react to a conflict is about you, and no one else. Being different from someone else or holding different opinions does not create conflict if a common and mutual goal exists. In other words, differences are not really the conflict.

How do you solve a conflict?

Use logic over emotions. Separate the facts from the feelings. What do you know? What can you SEE with your own two eyes?
Confrontation. You can’t avoid it. Confrontation is not always a fight, it is standing up and saying what needs said without fear or excuse. It takes courage to confront people and tell them things you know they won’t like. It won’t make you popular. But it does make you honest.
Negotiation. Conflict and confrontation must include negotiation and discussion about the facts, not the emotion.
Collaboration. All of the parties involved need to agree to cooperate.
Solutions. There is literally a solution to EVERY problem that exists, and if you can follow through to this point, then things can always be resolved. At this stage you have to literally go back to the beginning again: Intentions – Actions – Effects – Reactions – Consequences. If things break down again then it means that at least one party involved in the conflict did not follow through.

A witch can often be viewed as almost non-emotional about conflict. A witch is (hopefully) in better balance between logic and emotion. Of course a witch is emotional, but we have an easier time defining when emotions are appropriate, and what situations they fit in. A witch can often appear “detached” to an overly emotional person which isn’t the case at all. A witch IS able to detach emotions that is true, but it is because they have already mastered the skills needed to attain a balance within and without themselves.

Here is suggested book from Amazon: The Eight Essential Steps to Conflict Resolution

Knowing The Darkside

Everyone carries a shadow, and the less it is embodied in the individual’s conscious life, the blacker and denser it is. At all counts, it forms an unconscious snag, thwarting our most well-meant intentions. — Dr. Carl G. Jung

Jung had a brilliant way with words. I do not. I choose to be blunt about the dark side.

You have a monster inside you. It is mean, vengeful, spiteful, angry, greedy, ugly, blunt, manipulative, rude, crude, impatient, negative, and just plain nasty. You have a dark side. I have one too. Everyone does.

Our dark side is primarily in our subconscious. If you don’t believe you have a dark side, it’s because you learned how to suppress it well to obtain acceptance. If you don’t think you have a dark side then you are not taking responsibility for who you really are.

The dark side can grow, it can get bigger and bigger as we have a daily dose of denial. It is so deeply buried within us….. and the more we deny it, the more it actually comes out in some way. Thinking happy thoughts doesn’t change anything about the dark side. It still remains and it eats your “happiness” for breakfast. The more you protest against the dark side, the stronger it becomes.

How can I explain it more directly? Here is an example…. You can tell yourself to believe “Today will be a positive and good day where I am comfortable and things go my way”. But the minute you have a fight with a neighbor, your friend, your spouse, your partner, your child, etc…. you have turned to the dark side. Changing your thinking will not change your life completely, that is only a band aid. It’s just too easy of a solution, because the dark side can steal our thoughts at any moment…. subconsciously. You’ll never see it coming. It is far stronger then you think it is. Stop fighting it. Fear is not the answer, the inner child is not the excuse, and parental influence is not the problem. It goes even deeper then what pop psychology wants you to believe. Give the monster a hug.

Repressing the dark side of ourselves is likely to take us into situations where it will overwhelm us. When you avoid conflict, when you run from a confrontation, when you hide your true selfish desires… you are repressing it. When you tell yourself that money isn’t important, that you love everyone, that you didn’t do anything wrong…. You are repressing the beast. And the beast KNOWS it.

The dark side does have positive aspects within it, but you will not find that if you cower from it or repress it. The dark side can be discovered, accepted, understood, researched into, and expressed at the right places and times. The beast must get some sun, it must be expressed, because it will not sleep forever. Ultimately, our dark sides can help us to grow spiritually, and it can allow us to change the behaviors instead of just the thoughts. The beast has a purpose that you will never discover if you hide from it.

A witch knows all of this, at least hopefully they do. A witch works to balance the core of their own personality and is never afraid of the shadows. We feel at home in darkness, we work to control our inner monsters. We can’t deny their existence, we know the forces and the energy they possess. We embrace our dark sides; we go deep into our own underworlds to figure out what created our personal monster. Only then will our magic be powerful, only then will our thoughts not betray us. Separating the light from the darkness is just…… another separation in our lives. A witch must never allow their being to be separated.

Creative Witch Supplies

Did you ever notice that anytime you shop for Wiccan tools – whether online or in a store that everywhere carries the same items? I found a really cool website, completely by accident (or fate) that carries unique handmade items.

It is a family-owned and operated business; the Silverlight Source Wiccan Store was founded by, and continues to be run by, a mother-daughter team of creative witches whose vision for the site has been to create “something of value” on the web. They do this by providing unique, artistic wicca supplies at wiccan-friendly prices. The care and quality that goes into each piece sets their work apart!

And the item? Very cool stuff. Check out the site: Silverlight Source Wiccan Store

I ordered the Sabbat Wheel of the Year Altar kit today. I fell in love with it right away. Because I am often leery about doing business with small companies online I also wrote them, expressed that, and asked a few questions. I got a personal response in less then 24 hours which I felt was great customer service and proof of professionalism. I just feel better personally, when I get a human response from someone, or I know they care about their business too.

Shipping appears fast and I am excited!

Update: Got my Wheel of the Year altar kit and it is awesome. Everything was beautiful, and supplied as promised. Delivery was also quick.

Thank you 2007

I’m thankful at the end of 2007.

I am thankful to the woman I work for, not only for her humor, the respect and trust she has given me, but also to the major bonus I got hehe.

I am thankful for 2 very special friends I have, the ones who know me and understand me in a way that perhaps no other ever has. I can say anything to them and not be judged.

I am thankful for my loving husband and my true best friend. He is the smartest person I know and loves me with his whole heart. And I love the anniversary ring I got this year hehe.

I am thankful for the opportunities that arose that allowed my husband and me to travel more this year then we ever have done.

I am thankful that I have my health.

I am thankful my husband’s career, after many long low paying years, has settled on to solid ground. I’m thankful his struggle to build a career and find a place where he is appreciated is over. Another pay raise is on the way which is even better, to get rewarded!

I am thankful that my own business ventures and work have grown. All the stupidity and stress that I used to deal with is gone. It makes me believe whole heartedly how much I am capable of doing on my own, without others dragging me down. Yet I am also thankful for those who have professionally supported me now, and even thorough the years. I really know now how many people in my profession had respect for me and told me all along about my talents.

I am thankful for my brain, for logic has never failed me. I am a calm person that detests drama and content that I am not an emotional “reactor” which I have witnessed so many other people do.

I am thankful that my intelligence expands enough to see the bigger picture, allows me to see that path ahead and that my instincts are so sharp. I have grown so much in the last 5 years by completely realizing that my instincts are strong and that I can see exactly what is coming. Life is filled with so much less drama when it doesn’t take me by “surprise’.

I am thankful for my dark side, for it keeps me in balance; it lets me question things, and gives me the right to say what I need to say even when it isn’t popular. I am thankful I know how to accept and embrace my own darkness as it is my measure against the side of light.

I am thankful for my talent. I’m a great writer, an above average website designer, a decent graphic designer, and none of which have I been educated in at all. I am completely self taught.

I am thankful for other friends I have that I maintain contact with like : my adopted Italian momma, my breakfast buddy, my convention pals, my circle ladies, the couple we go out with, my British pal, and my long distance friends from school. I’ve been fortunate to maintain these relations for years and still have these people who are so important still in my life.

I am thankful I found some long lost family this year, with whom I see so much hope.

I am thankful that I could afford my new car, that I have a comfy home, and warm fuzzy creatures in it.

I can only sigh. Life is good. I feel lucky, and I am thankful for that. Now it is time to get ready for the P_A_R_T_Y.

Happy New Year.

Use Caution with Alternative Medicine

A while back I wrote a post called The Alternative Approachwhich was about using holistic and alternative methods for healing and general health purposes which can sometimes be dangerous. I wanted to share another personal story from my life in hopes that it can save a life.

A casual friend of mine that I have known for a few years now got pregnant this year. I’m going to call her Emily to maintain her privacy because that’s obviously not her real name. Emily is 35 years old, married, and has suffered from 3 previous miscarriages. Emily is a Buddhist, so sometimes her beliefs and my own can differ in method and process… but our general principles are still similar.

Emily chose to go the route of alternative medicine and holistic process throughout her pregnancy. This would be her first child, she was excited and scared so she did not tell many people about it until she was 5 months along. She was afraid of another miscarriage just didn’t want to put herself in a position where she’d have everyone know if it occurred again.

Emily did herbs, yoga, and everything the natural way. She sought out the assistance of many holistic professionals. She even had her own midwife. I grew concerned for her and her general health. I voiced my concern about all these holistic methods. She shut me down, corrected me, and I let the subject drop. I gave my opinion, and that is all I can do. This was Emily’s choice and even her beliefs. Her in-laws pleaded with her to stop the alternative methods because in their belief system it is all quackery.

I am sad to report that Emily had a still born baby in the hospital yesterday due to severe complications that were brought on by several of the choices she made. Without getting specific (and not betraying her complete privacy), it was connected to her alternative strategies.

Now Emily has to live with this. While it is of course not her fault, it would be impossible for any mother to feel that it wasn’t. In particular, this is true when she had so many of us share a different opinion then her own. I don’t blame Emily for her choices, but she obviously will now. The truly sad part is that it could have been prevented and it could even shatter many of her beliefs in her religion. The healing she will need to undergo will have to include the sciences she is against… such as therapy, and assorted other medical treatments such as medications.

I, again, cannot stress enough to anyone reading this post… to please consult a medical doctor if you have a condition that requires one. Good doctors and bad doctors exist but the medical community at large DOES have the answers. Please do not opt to rely solely on natural treatments, holistic therapies, or alternative health care. Even if they seem like they are working for the moment, they probably won’t long term. Those things are wonderful compliments to our health when we inform our doctors, and use them in combination with science. To go alone with natural treatments can be very dangerous.

May the spirit of little Baby James rest in Peace.

If anyone is interested… this is a great book on this very topic.

Snake Oil Science: The Truth about Complementary and Alternative Medicine

Visiting Salem

I’m back to work after a really long vacation whoohoo. The hubby and I did some stuff at home but then we also went away to Salem Massachusetts. We had a total blast omg! There are so many things to do such as: the Salem Witch Museum, Ghost Hunting, Cemetery tours, Wiccan shopping, and lots more. We caught a few paranormal things on film actually, very cool. One thing I know many Wiccans get flustered about is Laurie Cabot’s commercialism which I feel is all just a matter of opinion. She has obviously done so much for Salem’s tourism industry and yet managed to keep the rich history there. Just being in the same room as Laurie Cabot was a spiritual experience. Many non-fluffy Wiccans dislike her books due to the fluffiness but I do feel she tries to inject a much needed spiritual view rather then the “be a cool witch” attitude. She is a woman who has committed to the fight of truth which I must honor. Much of the tours were tourist themed…. however, they did an excellent job of actually educating everyone on the Wiccan religion, and the true history of the Salem Witch trials. Many people watch The Crucible and do not even know it was a metaphor for the McCarthy era. I was thrilled to see that was explained. I learned things I didn’t know too. And let me tell you the shopping was AWESOME.

The photo above is one of the postcards I bought, I scanned it before I mailed it to a friend.

To learn more on the events in Salem be sure to check out Three Sovereigns for Sarah - A True Story Of The Salem Witch Trials I think you’ll find it interesting!